Canada’s ruling minority Conservative party is starting rumours that it may or may not be wanting to hold an election this year because they’re worried about Quebec (what a shock) and barbecues or something. Broken yesterday, the story has died a quick and painless death because everyone knows that if an election were held anytime soon, Canadians – almost all of whom now equate politicians with traffic cops, tax auditors, and that substitute teacher you had in elementary school who you could make cry within 10 minutes – would vote for Rick Mercer or #6 from Battlestar Galactica rather than deal with another middle aged, self-important ex-businessman with boring hair.
Canadian elections are boring. Why? Because they focus on such tedious minutia as “issues” and “topics the mean something to Canadians” and stuff like that. It’s nothing like the rollercoaster of American elections where everyone from your campaign manager’s best friend’s wife’s boss’ daughter to your kindergarten teacher is thrust forward as a character reference while icky stuff like issues are given snappy titles and bullet points. Hurray for making things palatable!
Read what will happen when I rule the country after the jump!
