Hurray! Good news for lazy bums health conscious people like you and me! According to researchers, taking naps is good for us and will make us live forever and ever!
A six-year study of nearly 24,000 Greek adults found that those who consistently took midday naps had a one-third lower risk of dying from heart disease.
“Afternoon siesta in a healthy individual may act as a stress-releasing habit,” says the report.
I have always been led to believe that closing my office door for a little beauty sleep was a bad thing, that it demonstrates a complete lack of stepping-up-to-the-platedness and no initiative or team spirit and all that other jargon they use on The Apprentice. Now it turns out that I’ve been right all along. Take that, boss who once humiliated me in front of the entire accounting department! Ooooo! *SsssssNAP!*
According to researchers, bosses who push us to work harder and drink more coffee in order to work harder are really malevolent slave drivers whose sole desire is to watch us suffer through long and agonising diseases ultimately leading to death and eventual unemployment.
According to a Cornell University study, sleep-deprived workers cost U.S. industry $150 billion a year in reduced job productivity and fatigue-related accidents.
Harvard-trained research scientist Sara Mednick, author of the book “Take a Nap! Change your life.” told CTV News recently that sleep deprivation can lead to a whole host of health problems such as increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, depression, decreased libido and obesity.
Heart disease and decreased libido?! They’re trying to kill us all and depopulate the planet (and take away our fun!), leaving the Earth a barren wasted orb across whose surface wander naught but cockroaches and roving bands of Boards of Directors.
So take your nap! Live free and full your life and fill the lives of others with joy and mirth! And when your boss yells at you for napping on the job, tell them they’re a murderer and then file a human rights complaint with HR. Do it. I dare you.
