Brownie’s heckuva job

In an interview with the New York Times, Michael Brown, former director of FEMA, demonstrates the various qualities that made him such a capable leader before, during, and after the cataclysm of Hurricane Katrina (note the ring of awesomely powerful credibility surrounding his words):

Effective leadership and communication

“I am having a horrible time,” Mr. Brown said he told Mr. Chertoff and a White House official – either Mr. Card or his deputy, Joe Hagin – in a status report that evening. “I can’t get a unified command established.”

Assertiveness

“Would you please call the mayor and tell him to ask people to evacuate?” Mr. Brown said he asked Mr. Bush in a phone call.

Level-headed leadership (and articulateness)

Mr. Brown passed the list on to the state emergency operations center in Baton Rouge, but when he returned that evening he was surprised to find that nothing had been done. “I am just screaming at my F.C.O., ‘Where are the helicopters?’”he recalled. “‘Where is the National Guard? Where is all the stuff that the mayor wanted?’”

Fact-finding

In fact, he said, he learned about the evacuees there from the first media reports more than 24 hours earlier, but the reports conflicted with information from local authorities and he had no staff on the site until Thursday.

Brownie’s final word

“Until you have been there,” he said, “you don’t realize it is the middle of a hurricane.”

And even if you were there too, apparently.

Now, let us not forget the man who gave him this job …

Una conversación fantástica

This morning while sitting in a café, innocently reading my book and minding my own business, I was flirted with by the mind-blowingly talented and mind-numbingly sexy Gael García Bernal.

Admittedly, it wasn’t really the mind-blowingly talented and mind-numbingly sexy Gael García Bernal. However, the precocious man who took me happily away from my book could have easily been his equally sexy (no word yet on the talent), equally charmingly accented, ever-so-slightly older gay cousin. Happy Birthday to me!

Permission to be a jerk

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Aggressive line-cutting at lunch today inspires you to be more assertive. There are many things to do this week, and you will be able to swiftly plough through them all if you abandon all pretence of being nice, courteous and giving two fucks about the feelings of others. For the next few days, permit yourself to become that pushy jerk off who elbows through the crowd on the subway platform in order to nab the first available seat. For once, dirty looks become the sign of a job well done.

This describes me even on the best of days and I don’t really need the affirmation. Still, it’s nice to hear.

Update – Another horoscope concurs the first one in a less round-about way:

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22) You’re a proud individual, and there are just some things that you’ve never been able to bring yourself to say, but “Give me some more goddamned fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy right fucking now” isn’t one of them.