Smoke in My Eyes

Alert: World apprently watches chimney with baited breath for white smoke while millions die of AIDS in Africa because the condom is a sin and gays and lesbians continue to be branded “dirty” and “evil” for no reason other than that we’re slightly different.

As the white smoke billows from the Sistine Chapel and the bells peal from St. Peter’s Basilica, will the Church move into the new world or continue to try to keep all of us, Catholic or not, in the old one? Congrats on your new perfect dude, Church. Please come join is us in the 3rd Millennium.

Update: Sadly, instead of joining us in the 3rd Millenium, the new Pope has a reputation for wanting to drag us all back to the last time there was a German Pope before this one, the 11th Century. I guess I’ll go and make myself gayer.

Swollen Drama

The thing that was supposed to be a big thing turned out to be nothing at all. Well, it was something, but it was the less serious, more embarrassing thing and not the more serious, potentially life-threatening (and hair-threatening!) thing. All that worry, a couple of days of starvation, the consumption of a vile concoction, mortification, fingers prodding at parts of me I didn’t know I had – all to find out I have a thing I’ve been taught to be embarrassed about rather than a thing I should be scared of. Yes, you are most welcome for all the information.

I know I should be relieved that I have to live with embarrassment for a short time rather than with the fear of death, but I’d built up all this proactive drama within myself for that day I’d be swooning feebly on my divan while rival lovers dueled operatically for my attention. Now I don’t know what to do with all this swollen drama. I suppose I’ll have to find some lucky cute guy with whom to release it.