Searching Far and Wide

I am most curious to know what the person who came to Snobby by searching for “slutty librarians” thought of the site. Why didn’t you want to tell me how many languages you speak? Have you no opinion on Snobby’s new look? Did you enjoy the story about Snobby’s mother? How about the one about the simple little muscle boy who tried to pick me up in a very unflattering manner? Do tell me, tell us all, what you thought. I hope you weren’t very disappointed by what you found here.

I’m also curious to know what kind of a moronic search engine would send a slutty librarian searcher to me, but I’m really more interested to know what he (had to be a “he”) thought. I hope he enjoyed his stay.

Polly Gloat

Frank, whose unique communication style has had me scratching my head in bewilderment while rolling around on the floor, gasping for air, pointed out that I must speak every language in the world. It’s true. I do speak every language in the world, particularly if every language in the world is this:

• English
• French – but as pointed out several times previously, not that snooty French from France but the far superior, rock’n'roll Québécois variety
• Spanish, although it has mostly faded away due to disuse
• A little Catalan – really!
• A little Swedish
• A little Danish – but it mostly comes out like Swedish (any comments? You know who you are. You know you wanna…)
• A little Dutch
• A little Hebrew – more than some prayers. I can speak enough for Israelis to understand what I’m saying and mock my accent, poor grammar, and practically non-existent vocabulary

When I was a kid I lived in Poland, but I cannot remember anything of the language. Going back didn’t bring anything back to me either. Too bad.

I can say “hello”, “good-bye”, “please”, “thank you”, and “Do you speak English/French/Spanish?” in several languages too, but if don’t speak them, they’re probably not real languages.

If you count wanting-to-learn-Arabic-because-it-is-so-amazingly-cool-sounding as a language, then I speak that too.

What do you speak?